Well, here's hoping that this can be my little
sactuary for a while, but I have to get this off my chest. So Sam and I just and I mean JUST found out that we are
preggo again. And well this was not what we had planned for our lives right now. I am having a really hard time with this right now, I know that everything happens for a reason and that we are never given more than we can handle. But right now I just do not know how the heck I am supposed to be able to handle this. Very few people know at this point, The Meredith's know of course and my mom. They (the aforementioned people) had some suspicions and were concerned so they voiced them. But I have no desire to tell the "
Phethean" side of the family at all. I am already having such a hard time dealing with this, that I just don't want to deal with all the negativity from them as well. I guess the hardest part for me to deal with is the fact that it was not like we (Sam and I) were not being
careful. There were precautions taken, and well they just did not do their jobs very well. That and the fact that well things have gotten progressively worse with each subsequent delivery. Molly being the worst of all. I am so afraid of what could happen with this one. There are so many unknowns, and things that could go wrong. And on top of all that, all that I can think is how the heck am I going to handle another one??? Molly is barely 15mo old, Caleb JUST started school, I had plans to go back to school in the fall.
GRRR!!! Well here's hoping that 1. No one is reading this. And 2. That Heavenly Father knows what is best for me, cause right now I am just freaking out!