Just a rant!

Well, since there is no one to scream at right now, with the kids being "banished" to the backyard and Sam being at work this is just going to have to do. GRRRR!!! That is the "cleanest" way to express my frusteration. And well since I am trying really hard to use "clean" words I thought it best to stick with the grr's.

So here is my "Rant" for the day.....

Caleb is making me so frustrated! He screams and cries over every little thing especially when he does not get his way. And according to his Teacher and Speech Therapist this is JUST happening at home. I know that I should be grateful that he is doing so well at school and speech, but at the same time i am just grr that we are having these issues at home. I mean it's just ridiculous the stuff that he does, he whines like a baby when he wants something, and i feel like we are just going backwards with his progress. and i know that it is not just me, i know that Sam is just as grr as I am. Not that it helps at all, I wish that he would listen to me when I talk about Caleb. he still thinks that we can just treat him "normal" like the other kids, but the truth of the matter is that we cannot. I know that knowing that in and of itself can be and often is frustrating, especially now that the older kids are "noticing" that Caleb is "different". It started with Stephen, he started mimicking certain behaviors of Caleb's and got really upset when He got in trouble for them, and that Caleb doesn't. How do I explain to my 7 year old that it is NOT OK for him to act that way, but that his 4 yr old brother just "doesn't know any better"?

Now we are having "issues" with Molly. She has gotten really aggressive as of late, her favorite target as of the last few days has been Caleb, but i have noticed that she is branching out. It grrs me when the kids see what she is doing, and don't A) stop her or B) tell a adult that she is doing it. I mean Stephen sat and watched her "pound" on Caleb the other night. She was hitting him on the head with her sippy cup while he was sleeping. I guess we will just have to wait and see what her eval. says with Regional Center next week. Here's hoping that it goes well!

Speaking of Stephen, man I am at the end of my rope with that child. I have had enough of his freaking attitude to last a millennium. He is so defiant, and rude to everyone. I am worried about him, and wonder if I should talk to Sam about putting him in counseling. I just don't know what to do with him these days, I mean i love him, but i want to put him on a corner with a sign that says "free kid" some days. Today being one of those days.

And then there was Meghan, I feel like sometimes right now she is the one that is lost in the shuffle, I guess I should be glad that she spends a lot of her time at the Meredith's but then i feel like I am somehow failing her has a Mom. It was the same with Caleb when he was little, before we found out about his "issues". He was the one lost in the shuffle, and now it's May. She tries so hard to please, and do as she is told, but there are times that i want to ring her little neck. I know she is probably feeling left out, and all that and I try to understand I really do. but sometimes it's really hard to see past the grr at the moment. But she just keeps on trying, and that is all that matters right? at least for now I have one kid who isn't out to put me in the "loony bin"!!

Well, there that is much better, I am glad that i got that off my chest. Much better to put it here than to take it out on my already stressed out family. What are we going to do with Lilah when she comes...poor girl is coming into one crazy house. Hope she's up for it....on second thought, I hope we are too!