Life or something like it

Have you ever hit that point, when no matter how hard you try it never feels like enough? When frusteration just takes over, and you have trouble seeing anything but the "red"? I find that I am feeling that alot as of late. I am increasingly irritated with not only my children, but also with my spouse. No matter what they do, or how hard they try, it's just not enough to please me. I know and understand that this is something that *I* have to work on, but I have also noticed that when I hit these "phases" I tend to teach my family very bad habits. Sadly when the phase ends, the habits don't leave with as well.

So, I have decided to go on strike...well sort of. I am not refusing to abstain from my normal "duties". I will still take the kids to/from school, do the laundry, make meals, pay the bills, etc. All the "normal" things that a SAHM does to keep her household running smoothly. But the things that I will no longer be doing are things such as cleaning up after the kids, following them around like a maid, ignoring their lack of participation in the running of our household.

So, from there I devised a plan. First off, I am taking away the T.V. in my kids rooms. I know, I know...my kids have tv in their room...there is the root of ALL our issues!! NOT!! While it's a convience to be able to send them to seperate rooms to watch t.v., without having to listen to someone whine or cry about not being able to see, or jack got to pick the last show, and jane wants to pick the next one. But I am done, I am taking back my throne, I AM MOMMY!!! So, say hasta la bye-bye to the T.V. chickens!! We are going to go for 1 week without T.V., at least the kids are in their rooms that is. My plan, in all it's brillance.....The kids have to go 1 week, doing all that is asked of them, being kind to one another, and respectfull to Me and their Dad. The consequences of choosing to NOT follow the above rules will result in being grounded for 1 day per infraction. Now, this is NOT a one size fits all kind of deal. Each kid has their own "issues" to address durring this trial week.

Stephen for example, must make his bed, clean up his room, do all his homework, show kindess to each person in our family*, and trade off days of making sure the laundry is in the sorter in the garage. *That means that even if he is upset, he will not use any physical or verbal force to get his point across. I know that with all the changes that his body is preparing for, this is going to be a struggle for him. But I believe that he can do it.

Meghan must make her bed, clean up her room, make sure that all the dirty laundry is put in the sorter in the garage. She is also responsible for making sure that she uses a "proper voice". That means, No screaming, yelling, shrieking, crying, or whining. It's going to be tough, but I have confidence that she can do it. I hope that she will find herself not only a happier person, but also that people truly enjoy being around her.

Caleb has similar goals to both Meghan and Stephen. He has to make his bed, clean up his room, trade off days with Stephen to get the laundry taken care of. And similar to Meghan and Stephen; Caleb has to show self control with both his words and his actions. He has to learn to use his words instead of screaming, crying, or throwing a tantrum. Also, he needs to learn that physical attacks are NOT the answer either.

Molly and Delilah kind of have "joint" goals, I am hoping that they will see their older siblings attempting to modify their behaviors, and they will follow suit. I have noticed that my house is fairly calm durring the day when the older 3 are at school, and that it seems to start to fall apart about the time the older kids start getting home from school. I am hoping to change this. I am praying that by modifying all our behaviors we can have a calmer, more peaceful home. My hope is that they will act out less, less tantrums, less aggressive behavior, less tears from all of us.

As for Sam and I, we need to learn to work together instead of around each other. I find that I make it very hard for him to take an active role in raising our children; but then I resent his lack of involvement...ironic I am aware! So I know that I am taking this week as an opportunity to allow myself to take a step back, and kind of force Sam into the front lines. Not so much as let him, but allow him to be more of a parent than just the "bad guy" who doles out all the punishments. I need to allow myself to relinquish some of the control, and realize that just because Sam does something differently doesn't mean that it's wrong. That is going to be MY struggle for the next week. That and I am making a personal goal to not raise my voice. I have found that I yell all the time, for no reason somedays...it has become a habit. I have discovered that my children yell because I yell. That's no bueno in my book.

So, while I know that this is not something that we can change overnight. We cannot decide tonight, and wake up tomorrow and **POOF** it's all honeky-dory and peaches and cream!! I know that this is going to take a lot of hrad work by every member of our family. I am honestly hoping to see a slight change this time next week. I think that this week will definetly be a learning experience, and I hope that we are able to take away from this what works, and what we need to continue to work on. I know that by everyone actively participating in the "cleaning" of the house, that it will most likely stay much cleaner. I know that when I clean, spend my time and energy I am more invested, therefore I care about whethere or not it stays clean. I hope for the same from the kids.

I also hope that this helps to strenghthen not only Sam and I's relationship, but those of my chickens as well. That they will learn to work together side by side, without fighting and tears. That they will learn a respect for one another, and themselves. That working for something is a GREAT thing....despite what the world is telling them.