Miss Molly Anne is 3 today!

Happy Birthday Molly.

While, sometimes it's trying, we would never change who you are and what you bring to our family. We would never be the same without you. We love you and are so thankfull that you are ours!!

Love,

Mom and Dad

Molly's IEP

So, we had Molly's IEP meeting yesterday..the day FROM HELL!! It just didn't start off on the right foot, But on to the "juicy stuff"!! So, after some drama and tears..(mostly on my end) Sam and I finally made it to the meeting. It went...O.K....not as well as I would have hoped. I am of the mind that they are only offering services to cover their own asses...*ie: Caleb* but I am trying not to complain to much because at least she is getting something...1 hour a week of social skills, individual OT and speech..O.k., that is great. But so, then how and when is she supposed to put those "social" skills to work?? Because not only is she NOT potty trained, but she has issues that make that an issue, But no preschool is going to tolerate her behavior issues...so when are Those going to be addressed? Well, I am willing to give this a try, But I am also not going to sit around on my ass while she gets the shaft. I am willing to fight to get her what she needs.

On a side note, came across this poem on a thread on BBC, it was just what I needed to see/hear today.

A meeting was held quite far from earth
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angles to the Lord above-
“This special child will need much love.
“His progress may be very slow,
“Accomplishment he may not show.
“And he’ll require extra care
“From the folks she meets down there.
“He may not laugh or play,
“His thoughts may seem far away,
“So many times he will be labeled
“’different’, ‘helpless’, and ‘disabled.’
“So let’s be careful where he’s sent.
“We want his life to be content.
“Please, Lord, find the parents who
“Will do a special job for you.
“They will not realize right away
“The leading role they are asked to play.
“But with this child sent from above
“Comes stronger faith, and richer love.
“And soon they’ll know the privilege given
“In caring for their gift from heaven.
“Their precious charge, so meek and mild
“Is heaven’s very special child.”

Snuff By Slipknot

I am not the hugest of Slipknot fans, to be completely honest, they scare me a little. But This Song is my fave. It speaks to me, the lyrics are just beautiful. This is a birds eye view of my feelings...


Snuff

(Verse)

Bury all your secrets in my skin
come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
and love is just a camouflauge for what resembles rage again

(bridge)

So if you love me let me go
and run away before i know
My heart is just too dark to care
i can't destroy what isn't there

(chorus)

Deliver me into my fate
if i'm alone i cannot hateI don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
if i can change i hope i never know

(Verse)

I still press your letters to my lips
and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
but all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

(bridge)

So save your breath, i will not care
i think i made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
is that suppose to be enough?

(chorus)

I only wish you weren't my friend
then i could hurt you in the end
i never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
it took the death of hope to let you go

(bridge)

So break yourself against my stonesand spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
you sold me out to save yourself

(chorus)

And i won't listen to your shame
you ran away, you'are all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
if you still care don't ever let me know
if you still care don't ever let me know

***DISCLAIMER***

This is a vent, me whining about life, and either how much i dislike, or what i dislike about it...so read at your own risk.


Life sucks peanuts!! That is all, in a "nutshell" how I feel. I wish that I could say that it was just today, or this week, or the past few weeks. But if I am honest with myself, I would have to say it's the last few months that I have felt this way. I am overwhelmed that is easy to say and even easier to see. I am a SAHM with 5 kids, 2 of whom are special needs. But it goes beyond that. Sometimes i think that it would be so much easier to use the number and needs of my children as a crutch, something to hide the reasons that i am sad, or angry or just plain fed up with life about. But i know that not only would that not be fair to my kids, it wouldn't solve anything, in fact it would probably only make things worse.

I guess I could use this "post" to talk about me for a change. Who I am, what i like to do, stupid crap like that. But herein lies the issue..who the heck am i? I'm a wife, a mom, a taxi driver, a maid, a personal chef. But WHO AM I?? Who am I outside of all the afore mentioned things? I know that I am all those, But i also hope that I am more. That there is more to me than just "Mom". So, I tried going to school this semester....Epic FAIL!!! While it started out swell, it faded quickly just like everything else. Everyone and Everything ELSE takes priority over Me!
I know that it seems like an easy fix, but i just don't know how to....how do you undo 10 years of life, and habits, and all that? I guess i think that for a "normal" person it would probably be easy...but I am anything but normal. Maybe if you took away the Bi-Polar aspect, I might have a fighting chance...who knows! But alas, that is not my case...mine is alive and well and screwing up as much as possible. But I try so hard to not overcome, but move past perhaps. To not let it rule who I am and what I do with my life....I just find that increasingly harder and harder to do these days.

What makes it even harder, is that while I intellectually know that i should turn to the church for support, I find that is where I find the least amount. It has been so for some time, it doesn't mean that I don't believe, or that I am falling away or what have you....it just makes me sad. The one place that is supposed to be a safe haven, feels like a prison cell. I have been staying away from BBC, and the like, because I find that instead of making me feel hope and uplifting me...I get the opposite from the posts, and subsequently the people. I walk away feeling dejected and lower than filth because I am having a hard time in my life. I don't blame those who are participating, perhaps for them it's what they seek or need. But it's neither for me. I wish that I felt that i had more friends in the church, that I fit in better in my ward. I try and become active in the classes, and participate in the activities...but that is beginning to feel like a chore, and it's becoming to much for me to handle. I wish that my kids had more friends in the ward as well, It seems like only Stephen and Molly have any....Poor Meghan, she is the only girl now and that makes it hard for her to want to attend primary. I make her go, but I fear that she is going to grow to resent Sam and i for doing so. And Caleb, I just ache for him...he so desperately wants to have friends and play, but it's like that clique of "cool kids", he just doesn't make the cut. I have the same fear for Molly as she grows older, it's easy to attribute somethings to age right now, but that excuse is rapidly wearing thin. And all of this wears thin on me. I am growing weary of trying to fit in, to mold myself into something good enough. I didn't choose the same path, but does that make my path less right for me? No, but yet I feel so inadequate.

Our New House!!

O.K., so I am sooo behind on my "blogging"...so here it goes.

We have moved! Yeah!! We moved out of the condo that was our home for the past 6 years, We have raised 5 children, given birth to 2 of those 5 in that home. But since it was only a very small 3 bedroom with only a small patio we had seriously outgrown that home. It was at the time we moved into, a huge step up from where we were at, we really needed a bigger place, with room for the kids to be able to go outside and play. Things that were seriously lacking in our 1st real home..our lovely 2 bedroom apt in La Habra. But since life doesn't stop, we out grew the condo as well, and we were lucky enough to find our "new" house, and WE LOVE IT!!

We moved in on the 10th of October, almost a whole month ago. WOW! That is crazy to think about!! A HUGE thanks to my nephew Jamison for all of his help, although I am sure he didn't really mind, it got him a break from doing his homework!! Also, thanks Jen for bringing him over and letting Sam work him to the bone!! We really appreciated all his help! And a HUGE thanks to Javier as well, who came all the way down on his day off none the less. Without the help of these 2, Sam would have gone crazy! They were able to move out our entire condo in just 2 days, and get our new house set up as well. It was awesome! Thanks to my Mom as well, for letting us crash at your house, and all your help with the move, and Especially helping with all the cleaning at the condo. I don't know what I would have done without your help. You were a HUGE lifesaver to Sam and I both. Thanks for everything!

Now onto the good stuff!! Our new house!! Let me tell you about our HUGE yard. It is freaking AWESOME!! It's so big, my kids are going nuts. They absolutely love it, Sam and I do as well. I think that Sam actually likes having a yard to do work in. He mows the lawn and trims the bushes...he likes to do that kinda stuff..LOL!! But all in all it's really nice. We sit out there while the kids play, Sam and Stephen can play catch. I love to watch Molly and Delilah, we have RV access, and there is a circle of sidewalk, and they like to drive their car, and ride their scooters around the cirlce. It's so cute to watch.

The fact that we have more room is wonderful as well. The girls room is so much bigger, They have room to play and room for their beds. Delilah moved into a "big girl" bed, no more crib for that little chicken! She actually does really well, she sleeps in it, naps everything. I was a little worried, she was super happy in her crib. But the crib was just falling apart...Caleb, Molly, and Delilah were all in it...plus we got it from a family in our ward in La Habra, and it had been used by 1-2 of their kids. All in all, it was well used!

The boys room is a little bit bigger, not as big as Stephen would have liked, but it's bigger than what they were in at the condo. He had a little bit of a problem with the fact that the girls room was bigger, but we gently reminded him that there are 3 girls in that room and it's just him and Caleb in his room.

Sam had a bit of a shock when he saw our room. But I had to remind him that nothing was going to be the size of the master we had at the condo, not unless we buy our own house and make a master suite like Mom and Dad M. have..but until that happens we are happy with what we have! All in all, we love our house, Sam loves that he has a 2 car attached garage, and a driveway all of his own. The kids love that they have a backyard all of their own, and I love being in a place with more space.

We also, are smack dab in the middle, right between the kids schools which is a nice perk. It only takes about 5 min to get Stephen and Meghan to school, and Caleb still takes the bus..but it's nice to be able to just open the front door, and he can come right in! Sweet!

It's nice, we are happy, the kids are happy. Life is going pretty swell right now..just hope it stays that way!

All Hallows Eve!

"Happy Halloween", I am so glad that it's out and that it's over! While we had a fun filled holiday experience, I am glad that it's over. We had a busy month of October, we hit the Santa Ana Zoo for their annual "Boo at the Zoo". It was a blast!!

And let's not forget dressing up for school as well, Stephen and Caleb were Y.L. S.W.A.T. Officers, complete with "offical" looking I.D. badges! And Meghan was a cheerleader....shocking I know!! But they all looked super cute and had a great time! And let's not forget Sam, even he dressed up for work...how appropriate..He dressed up as a mechanic!!

And, then there was the Ward annual "Boo-thday Bash" that was a blast. Pure chaos but a blast none the less. My kids made out like bandits with all the candy too! Plus we had a costume change! Stephen THEN decided that he wanted to be a nerd for Halloween. Plus the little two got to wear their costumes. They * Delilah and Molly* were "Pretty Princess Witches", just as Molly she'll tell you! But the best part was dinner BEFORE we got to the ward party, Souplantation was offering 1 free kid with a adult if the kid was in a costume! Sweet!! So, since I don't like chili and I am always looking for an excuse to head over to Souplantation, I took full advantage of this! Plus the kids get to eat what they want, and there is no fighting..makes life so much easier this way!

AND then there was trick or treating on Halloween night as well as another costume change for Stephen, who this night was Anikin, and Caleb as well who joined us as Iron Man!

Thank goodness for Grandma, or we would not have any pictures from Halloween! I "lost" my camera and Sam called my mom in a panic, thankfully she had hers! Now I just have to get the pictures from her!!

P.S. Thanks Sam for calling my mom, and Thanks Mom for bringing your camera!

And then you add in the time change, church at 9 am, and then baseball...it's not only been a busy month, it's been a crazy weekend! Whew! I am pooped! All in all, we had a good time, and I am sure that all the candy will be enjoyed by all.

School Is IN for the Winter!

O.K., so summer is not officially over, but at least for me school is in the fall/winter! I started back to school this week, monday was my 1st day of my p.e. class, and then wed night was the 1st day of my intro to creative writing class. That class is going to be a challenge but so much fun. I am really excited about learning to hone my own writing style. Especially because I am not really quite sure what it is really.

So, today was Caleb's kindergarten orientation. He was able to go to his new school, and see where his class was going to be, meet the teacher/aides, and some of his class mates. Boy am I glad that he is in the SDC class! Just walking into the playground, he completely shut down!! There is no way that he would have been able to manage the year in a regular class. I just love his teacher, and I know that he will as well.. it's all a bit overwhelming at the moment! As far as the kids go, we find out who Meghan and Stephen have tonight, and then they all go back on Tuesday the 8th! Not that I am excited or anything! **wink, wink!**

And then there was Molly! Miss Molly has finished speech, and moved on to ABA! Wahooo! Yes, I am that excited!! She starts on Tuesday as well, which is nice because it will distract her from all the "big" kids being gone all day! I really hope that this is going to help, make not only her life easier, but the lives of the rest of us around her as well! She is such a sweet heart, and just doesn't know how to deal with life sometimes is all. But this is just her and her teacher, so I am optimistic! Will post 1st day of school/ABA pics as soon as the day arrives..and NO! Sam didn't take one and neither did I on our first day! Maybe we should though..food for thought!

Better Late than Never!!

O.K., so I was looking back thru all the posts that I have made recently..and realized that I never posted about Stephen's Baptism!! OMH!! What kind of parent am I??!! Then I realized, that I never posted about it because silly me, I "lost" the pictures!! Well, now that I have found them Here is Stephen's Baptism Post! It's just a little late! So, back in May..on the 9th of May to be exact my Stephen Joseph was baptised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This was a huge day, not only for Stephen, but for Sam and I as well. Being our oldest child, he is the 1st to be baptised by Sam. This day ranks right up there with our sealing and the days that all my chickens were born. It was the most awesome experience to see my hubby and son, both dressed in white entering the font. Then to see Sam baptise his 1st born, WOW! Words just fail me. It was a truly awesome day. Followed with a "family" dinner at Stephen's fave place to eat..Denny's!! Wahoo for Saturdays when Kids Eat Free!! That was pure crazyness!! But it was so much fun!!

Day at the beach

Well, I guess this just tells ya what a bad mom I really am....it's the end of July and we (the kids and I) have only been to the beach once!! We went yesterday with Grandma **Thanks Mom!**, and not only was it our first visit of the summer, but it was Delilah's 1st visit as well! I was not sure how well she would handle the beach; with the sand and the ocean and all that. She did FANTASTIC!! She was born to be at the beach! She loved the sand, so much that she kept attempting to eat it!! And then there was the water, not only was it warm, but she just walked right into it. She wadled her way down the sand, and right into a wave! It was so cute! So, we thought we would let her ride the boogie board...She was in heaven!! She would sit on all 4's and hold on to the side, and ride the wave all the way to shore. Now, we weren't out super far, but she had a blast just the same. The whole way in, she was yelling," Weeeeeee!" It was hilarious! Can't wait to take her back again, and this time Daddy has to come too!

**pictures to follow**

Minnie Mouse is 1 year old!!

Sad, but true Delilah Rose turned 1 year old this week. We celebrated by a pool party at Grandma's and the most awesome Minnie Mouse cupcake cake courtesy of Auntie Catt's Bakery. Then on her "actual" birthday it was off the "Happiest Place on Earth" for singing and cake with the Mouses'. It was so much fun! And Delilah had a blast!!

She is just growing up so fast, she started taking some steps independantly on Sunday, and it has only continued as she grows more and more confident in her mad skills. She is already 20 lbs 4 oz, and is 28 1/2 inches tall. She handled her shots on her birthday of all days like a champ! She was even all smiles at Disneyland for Minnie Mouse! I think that was the highlight of her day, I am sure!! She was very sad that she couldn't grab Mickey and Minnie..she was COVERED in frosting by the time they showed up! Can't wait to watch her grow, but am so sad to know that she is the last "baby" that this family is going to see..ever. Now we all have to live vicariously through all the cousins!! But I am sure that it's going to be o.k.!!

Stinking Facebook!!

For the record, I LOOOOOOVE my Facebook, a little too much..that is the problem!! Well, to be honest it is not really FB that I am "addicted" to, it's the "Pieces of Flair" application that I am in love with. I LOOOVE this app. I could spend hours I am sure wasting time away searching for amusing and such flair. I have soo much right now, that I have filled almost 2 boards..Sad I know!! But there are some serioulsy funny ones! There are alot of lame-o ones as well, but I love most of them. I think that I have found some that are pretty spot on with who I am...it's awesome! I am sure that I annoy the heck out of my friends who I am constantly sending funny flair too, and I am trying my hardest to get a few to join me in my addiction..because Flair is exactly,"my brand of heroin"!!

So sad without Dad.

Well, It's been "one of those" weekends. Sam and Meghan had their final "Princess" campout of the year this weekend. While I look forward to these campouts, and I know that they are a great way for some "Daddy/Daughter" time, it is hard at the same time. Now that Molly and Delilah are getting older and all, they are begining to notice that Daddy is not here. Molly cried the whole way home yesterday after we dropped Sam off at Mom and Dad's. Then both her and Delilah cried for daddy when it was time for bed. Breaks my heart!! Hopefully tonight will be involve less tears and a bit more sleep...So far so good..Delilah down. Now just to get Molly and Caleb to bed!!

Poop

Okay, so I am going to guess that you can figure out what this is all about just by reading the title. So here's the "back" story; no pun intended!! Sam, such a sweetie, puts Delilah to bed in nada but a diaper. Now, normally this would have been no cause for concern. It's been insanely hot here recently and rather than run the A/C all night, we just let the kids sleep naked. So, he puts her to bed, she goes down fine...all is well until I wake up at 5:30am to hear a screaming baby...I rush in thinking that Molly tried to climb in bed with her again, to find that she had somehow managed to get her poopy diaper off and it was ALL OVER THE PLACE!! I am talking crib, her, sheets, bumper pad, you name it..it had poop on it! YEAH ME!! Now I don't have a super sensitive stomach, but this made me nauseous! So i rip her out of bed, while attempting to not vmoit or get poop all over me, while she is screaming run into the bathroom and "toss" her into the shower. And guess where Sam is while all this is going on....that's right In Bed Asleep!! But in all honesty, it's better that he wasn't involved, he has the sensitive stomach, and I did not want to be cleaning up poop from the 10 mo, and vomit from a 28 yo!!

Moral of the story...DO NOT LET THE BABY SLEEP NAKED!!!
Naked sleeping baby - aww, so cute
Poopy diaper - icky
Poopy diaper all over baby and bed - nauseous mommy
Putting baby to bed in at laest a onesie - priceless learning experience

Music Survey

So, since I like to "blogstalk" as much as the next guy I have noticed that a lot of people have music players on their blogs. So I jumped on that "band-wagon" really quick, but I worry that some of my musical tastes can lean toward the offensive. So my question is this...what do you do, when you are checking out someones blog and music comes on that you either dislike or offends you?? Would you leave a menacing comment or just mute the volume?

Twilight Part Duex

O.k., so I have to blame this one on BBC, thanks Ladies for bringing Twilight into the forefront of all our minds, and who ever posted the link to Stephanie Meyer's website..you too!! Thanks! So, now for the "real" reason for this post..So there is this unpublished manuscript on the above stated website that is all about Twilight from Edward's point of view. It has taken me like 3 days to read this. Not that it's very long, but sitting on my butt in front of the computer kind of raises questions..kwim?? So anywho..I read it. I loved it. To be honest, I liked it better than Twilight itself...blasphemey I know! But the truth none the less. I will add, that I hope that it's published soon, because I think that it would be great to read alongside of Twilight. It really helps you to understand what is "really" going on in the book. There was alot more to it than I had originally thought. So here is my "bump" for "Midnight Sun", and my sincere hope that it is published soon, so that I can rush out and buy it and annoy the heck out of my husband drooling over some fictional character; because I too like boys who sparkle!!

Bullets and Octane

Sam, If you are reading this..I really really would love to go..this would be a GREAT date night kind of thing...or if you know of any friends that would go with me..that works too...Man I have missed my Boys of Bullets!


Bullets and Octane
6/5/2009 8:00 PM at The Galaxy Theatre
3503 S. Harbor Blvd, Santa Ana, 92704
Cost: $15.00
Halloween Jack feat. Gilby Clarke (Guns N Roses, Rockstar Supernova),
The Amplifiers, FullRev Doors at 6pm show at 8pm

*Update* Lilah Vs. Harley

Well, we went back to the dr @ the burn center on Monday..and They were shocked at how well her leg is healing!! YEA!!!! The PA came in, all set to give me bad news and took one look, pulled the picture that they took on friday and compared it to the one that they took on Mon; and was flabergasted!! They could not believe how much it had healed over the weekend. We are so happy!! She is doing well, her boo-boo is healing quickly, life is going okay for the moment!! We still have to go to the burn center 1 x's a week to have it checked, but as long as there is NO infection, we are "skin graft" free!! Thanks for all the happy thoughts and all the prayers, they have done wonders!!

Delilah VS Harley Sportster

Well, I am sure that the title sparked some really curious ideas..and no just so we are clear Delilah didn't try and wrestle a Harley. She did however, get a really nasty burn on the inside of her right foot. It all happened after Sam got home from his trip. She was so excited to see daddy, and all she wanted to do was sit with him on the bike, well Harleys are a little different exhaust wise from Sam's triumph....we thought that we had her feet up far enough; apparently we were wrong. So we went and saw the pediatrition on Wed, and we went to the Burn Center today. The news wasn't really horrible, but it wasn't stellar either. So we have to change the bandage 2 x's a day, wash it every time we change it..and then we just hope and pray that it looks great when we go back on Mon. We are praying, and keeping our fingers crossed that it will heal the way the Dr's want it to, so that we can avoid a skin graft. The thought just makes me wanna cry! Prayers are desperetley needed/sought! Poor Delilah..she's handeling it all so well. Here's hoping for good news oin Monday!!

Happy Birthday Sammy J!!

Just wanted to give a "shout out" to my sweetie, and let him know that I did not forget his birthday! So here, Sam this is just for you!!

To my sweetie, I love you and think that you are the greatest ever! I am so glad that you picked me, and that you wanted and continue to want to spend the rest of eternity with me. I love you and hope that you have a simply wonderful birthday!

Happy 28th Birthday Samuel Jeremiah Phethean!!

Love,

Me

The Good, The Bad, and The Extremely TIred

The Good, Sam made it to his brothers house safely Saturday afternoon. The Bad, He got completely soaked on the ride. The Extremely Tired, That would be both of us. As crazy as it sounds we can count how many nights we have spent apart since we have been married. And the majority of those have been while I was in the hospital Post-Baby. So neither of us really sleep well when the other is away. Even the nights that he is camping with Meghan are hard!! But I think that Sam wins in this case. He rode for like 7 hours, in the rain and cold...I just hung out with the kids. And in this case, I think that was the easier of tasks!! Thanks for all the help from our families, and all the prayers as well! They are all extremely appreciated!

15 Movies

Ok. So here is the thing, I got this on Facebook, and thought that it was really kinda fun. That and I am pretty sure that most people won't get half of the quotes that I picked. And well, anyone who does..You are my hero!! Good Luck!! And NO CHEATING!!


1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search or other search functions

A. I noticed the other morning you didn't order any breakfast. I wasn't sure if that was because you weren't a breakfast eater... or becuase you thought I was gonna kill you.

B. Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry. / Mother's gonna make all of your nightmares come true. / Mother's gonna put all of her fears into you. / Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing. / She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing. / Mama will keep baby cozy and warm. / Ooooh babe, ooooh babe, oooooh babe, / Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall

C. Witch! Witch! You're a bitch! Witch! Witch! You're a bitch!

D. Well, that's very nice. I'm glad. Well here's... here's the point, Andie. I'm not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me, because I live to like you and... and I can't like you anymore. So... so when you're feeling real low and... and dirty, don't look to me to pump you back up 'cause... 'cause... 'cause maybe for the first time in your life I WON'T BE THERE!

E. Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.

F. Remember, boys! STAY AWAY from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!

G. Call me old-fashioned, I'm funny that way. Human sacrifice makes me uncomfortable. Why, JB? Why helicopters, man?

H. I just stole fifty cars in one night! I'm a little tired, little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

I. She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

J. Would you like to hear something that does make sense? Call the police. Call Dave Newsome, tell me to come here this second and lock you up before you can do any more damage

K. But Sidney's more than a mere bass player. He's a fabulous disaster. He's a symbol, a metaphor, he embodies the dementia of a nihilistic generation. He's a f****n' star

L. Now the snarfblatt dates back to prehysterical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music.

M. Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.

N. No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

O .My impression of life at Big Bri's house, "Son?" "Yeah, Dad?" "How was your day, son?" "Great, Dad. How's yours?" "Super. Say, how would like to go fishing this weekend?" "Great, Dad. But I got homework to do." "That's okay, son. You can do it on the boat." "Gee." "Hon, isn't our son swell?" "Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?"

Full Circle

I am not sure how many people actually go back and re-read all their old posts on their blog; but I did. Not sure what prompted it, but it was an interesting read none the less. In fact, I came across a post that was eerily similar to my life now, even though it was written about a year ago. I think that it was nice to see, that I havn't lost my mind and or gone crazy..that my kids have grown and matured, and that some things just never change!! So the post that I was reading was talking about Caleb, and his melt-downs. And in that aspect things have not changed, But in the same post there was talk about Molls and her need to hurt everyone and everything that she comes in contact with. Well, I am excited to say that she has mellowed a bit in that aspect. I am of the mindset that speech has really help her in that are of life. While we still have a lot of things to work on, seeing just the littlest bit of progress is so fullfilling.

And here I sit, trying to find the words to explain what I want to say, while I am trying to stay awake until it's time to wake Sam up at 3am. So now I guess I better explain...Sam is riding..yes riding a motorcycle..up to visit his brother up in Central/Norther Cal. They* the brother, wife and kids* live just out side of Sacramento. I am really nervous...I am scared. I trust him I do.. but I worry about him at the same time. It's a really really long way..and he is going all by himself. I think that it's great what he's doing, I just wish that he wasn't going. So, does that make sense?? I guess the "silver" lining is that he is NOT riding his bike, Esther lent him hers. Thanks Esther!! I really appreciate you doing that for us. Well, I am getting tired and keep deleting, and needing to re-type my whole post..so I am going to vegg out in front of the T.V. with my Tivo!

Bad Joke

Okay...this is the "disclaimer" If you ARE A FAN of Obama..Please read no further..This is a Anti-Obama Joke...


People said that we would have a black president when pigs flew..Sure enough 100 days into Obama's presidency; "swine flu"

Terrible Two's

Well, I am sadly enough "hoping" that our recent bought with tantrums and constant melt downs are just a case of the "terrible 2's". Scary, I know..but well to be completely honest the alternative is just....well scarier. After a lot and I mean A LOT of thinking, I came to the realization that I went through this same behavior with Caleb when he was this age. And seeing how well that turned out, I guess anyone could see my apprehension. I just do not know how much more I can take, the constant screaming, the melt downs for no concievable reason..it wears on you. It's like the grating sound of nails on a chalk board. The part that makes me cringe, is that I can see, and recognize how it affects my family. How it makes me hard to be around, how short tempered i get with my husband and my kids. I just do not know what to do to prevent history from repeating it self. I saw how it strained my marriage, and how it made my kids feel like they had to walk on egg shells all the time. It was not a happy time in my house. Even as I sit here, I can feel the tension from the "attitude" rolling off me like waves on a lake. How do you "compromise" with this?? How do you make a deal with a very sad 2 yo little girl?? I love her, but sometimes I wanna just wring her little neck!! And then this happens! As I sit her "venting" about her, she falls asleep laying on my shoulder!!!

It's hard to be upset when she's so darn cute while she sleeps!! Well better here, on "paper" than screaming at all the kids!!

Twilight Fever

Yes, there it is...out in the open for the whole wide world to see. I have been sucked under, I am suffering from "Twilight Fever". I just want to add, that I totally blame all the great ladies in my ward for this. If there had not been such talk about these books..well I like to *think* that I would have been able to live in the bliss of ignorance. But sadly we shall never know!! So, I have to say that they are really quite engaging, and are incredibly difficult to put done once they have been started. I rapidly got through the first two in record time. **As a side note..I wish that some one had given me these books when I was in the hospital with Delilah. That would have given me something to do besides sit by myself.** Thanks to a great friend who selfishly lent me her copy of the 3rd one. And well, since I hate to leave things unfinished...I am ashamed to say that I went to Costco and bought the last one. O.K. to be completely honest..I bought 3, 4. BUT they were really really cheap..*Thanks to Molly's speech therapist for that little tidbit of info!!* so there you go Now to be fair, It did take me a little bit longer to read #4. But that was only because I didn't want them to end. It was so easy to get caught up and utterly captivated by the stories. You can always tell a good book, by the depth of involvement the reader has. You would find yourself caught up in the suspense of the characters as they raced for their lives, and find that tears were welling up in your eyes as you read about the heartbreak as well.

So, here the end has come. I will admit that I saw the movie before I read the book, and well as crazy as it is..I actually preferred the movie. At least in a DVD you can fast forward past all the awkward staring...how do you get past that on the written page!! Of course, there is a lot more background info in the books, and so I am sure that I will have a better understanding of the movies in the future. While I thoroughly enjoyed the books, I am still not quite comprehending the "craze" that swept..But maybe with a little time, and the next movie.. I will finally understand. So here's to picking sides!!! Not sure I can stand with "Team Edward" at the moment...so for now "Team Jacob" it is. But you never know...time can change anything. Because, let's face it ladies...We all like things that "Sparkle"!!

School is sooo frusterating!!

O.K., so we had Caleb's IEP meeting, it went well...ok...we are all on board to mainstream him. Sam and I have some "issues" with the idea, but we are coming to terms with it. Then OUT OF THE BLUE the school pysch. calls us yesterday...she would like to set up a observation and transition meeting with us for Caleb at the SDC class! WHAT THE HECK??? What happened to mainstreaming this kid??? I mean do not get me wrong, I don't think that he's ready, and I don't think that he would do well..but still! A little bit of notice, some conversations would have been appreciated! I guess I should shut up and count my blessings that H.F. was listening and answered my prayers.

So, as of now here is the "run-down"...Caleb will be attending Fairmont Elem. at the SDC kindergarten class for the '09-'10 school year. The goal of the class is to mainstream by June. Keep your fingers crossed and prayers coming that this all works out! Here we go!!

Join The Club

So, I just added the feature to "follow" my blog! Be a friend and join my club! I would join yours!!

Baseball Season is here!

Can you hear the excitement in my "voice"? Well, in all honesty I am really truly excited..because this is Caleb's very 1st year playing ball. He is on the T-ball Angels..Stephen was a bit sad, he really really wanted to be on the Angels too! Stephen is on the Nationals this year, I am not sure what it is about this kid..so far both our teams have been from other states! But he is really excited, he is playing on a team with his cousin again this year, so that is a bonus! Plus the cool thing is this...Sam's brother's boys, are both on the Angles, and the Nationals **who's both play** . Now the Angels is a div. above Stephen, but they are the same #'s as well. Stephen is #7, Caleb #9, and the cousins are Angels #7, and Nationals #9. We just noticed this today, why you ask?? Because it was Picture Day! I can not wait to see how they turn out! We got a couple of "group" shots with our camera, but I always look forward to the "real" pictures when they come! Hopefully Caleb has a great season!! And Stephen as well, but we are pretty sure he will..Caleb we are just not to sure about!

Here's all the Boys that are playing ball this year from the Phethean Clan..* Charles Angles #7, Peter Nationals #9, Stephen Nationals #7, and Caleb Angles #9*

I Hate IEP's/Meetings

For the record, I love Caleb's teacher, and so does he..and he has made awesome progress. Now that the "disclaimer" is out of the way..here comes the vent!!

So, we and when I say "we" what I really mean is "I" attended Caleb's IEP meeting today. 1st of all, let me clarify, I got the news of this meeting YESTERDAY, so Sam wasn't able to attend, although that was the original plan..it just didn't work out. So off with all 5 kids I go to this meeting, Molly is tired and cranky, Delilah is hungry, and Meghan and Stephen are just being pains in my butt. Things are going ok, until Meghan and Stephen decided to "tie up the room" and each other. Oh, and the icing on the cake..the school psych. Man was she a treat!! NOT!!

Well, long story short, Caleb is doing great, so great in fact that it makes it hard to qualify him for services! While I know that this IS a good thing, it suck at the same time! Here's hoping for some sort of resolution!

Delilah's Day at the Races

Well since today was my birthday, my sweetheart of a hubby thought that it would be fun to get ticket to the NHRA Winter Nationals at the AutoClub Speeday at Pomona for me. My 1st thought was, gee that's great but what about Delilah??? But since this IS Sam we are talking about..and the "races", he was WAYYYYYY ahead of me on this one. The simply AWESOME husband that he is, got us Suite Tickets!! Wahoooo!! That means, all the fun and none of the noise!!

So Delilah got to attend her very 1st NHRA race!! Boy did this girl have fun. From the moment that we got out of the car you could hear the racecars staging and heading down to pit road...she was on the edge of her seat. She just could not get enough of looking around and seeing all the sights! She would crane her whole little body to see everytime she heard a car start up, or head down Pit Road. It was the most awesome thing ever! I think that she was more excited than Sam and I were to be there.

Then when we got into the suite, and we sat her up on the counter so that she could see out. The cool thing about the suite that AAA has, is that it is right behind the starting line, so all the cars are lining up on pit road right in front of where we are at. She was totally into it, she watched and watched and watched. The noise didn't bug her, you can still hear quite a bit, it's just not going to make you deaf or anything...she would get this huge goofy grin on her face, then look back at whom ever was holding her. We (Sam and I) got some really cute pictures and videos of her on my ph.
I know that Sam and I can't wait to take her again, as well as the other kids. Now the count is 3 down and 2 to go!! Everyone has gone with the exception of Molly and Caleb. But to be honest, I am not sure how either one of them would do...we'll just have to see!

Delilah at the window in the suite

Happy Birthday To Krystin

Happy Birthday to Krystin..You are officially 27 years old, and that means only 3 more year till you are 30!! It's not so funny now is it!

Courtesy Of Sam..Thanks Sweetie! I really appreciate that today, since you know it's my Birthday and all!!

Ignorance Isn't Always Bliss

Those of you that know me, know that I am what most would consider a Realist. I am not one to see the good in everyone, I am the one that wants to know what you want, and what you are going to get out of it. My sweet Sammy J on the other hand..well he's the one that see's the good in everyone and every situation. This is one of the things that I love most about him. Sadley this is also one of the things that I hate as well.

Being who he is, He is taken advatage of on a consistent basis. It is so frusterating to sit back and watch this all unfold in front of you. It sucks to know that while he is going out of his way to do something nice, it is not going to be appreciated. But heaven forbid that he doesn't do what ever was asked of him. I love how he is so willing to give of himself and his time, I just wish that he was a little more stingy. He works so hard, between school and work and trying to cram time with us at home as well. So to see how ungrateful some people are when that time that is so precious to us is given so freely...well it makes my blood boil! And to make things worse...it caused so much contention between us. I think that we argue more about outside issues than we do any other time. I am not saying that we never disagree or that we never fight because that would not be the truth. We argue, we disagree, but we also make up and agree to disagree. But when the "other stuff" comes up..it makes it hard to make up. It makes me sad, and I know that it makes him sad too...I just don't know how to get my point across without puting some serious ultimatums on the table; and I do not think that doing that would be constuctive at all. I know that life is not going to be Roses and Sunshine all the time, nor do I expect it to be..but a few good days here and there...is that too much to ask?

Crazy Things are happening!

Here is the crazy thing..So I am now on facebook..as all can see by the previous post..But the CRAZY stuff is that all the friends that I have..are all people who I grew up with in the church! Everyone is from my stake in Orange..well at least most of them are anyway. There are a few others scattered here and there. Crazy, crazy stuff..Facebook is the "Mormom" Myspace!!

Face Book

As if I don't already have enough to do, or waste enough time on the Internet on things such as Babycenter, or Blogstalking..I have now joined the "Facebook Family"! How sad it is when my Mom has a Facebook page before me...and I think that she has more friends than I do as well. Oh well, now I have another mindless pleasure to wittle away my day at. Oh, and the best part..I made one for Sam too! Now HE has to do it with me! I think that it would have been really cool if we could have had a "joint" page..you know like one for our family; but I could not figure out a way to make it work, so at least we are linked cause we are married! Although when I added it to mine, Sam called me and wanted to know why I was telling lies about him. Guess he didn't want it getting around that he has a wife...oops!!

Stupid People Suck

For the record, This is a VENT!!

There, now that I have that little "disclaimer" out in the open, here it goes!!

So, as I have previoulsy addmitted too, I am a BBC addict. That said normally I really enjoy my time spent on that site. I really enjoy having a place to go and "chat" with other LDS ladies, learn some new things, listen to new ideas, etc. But lately it seems that I have been setting myself up for trouble. I seem to be "drawn" to threads that are going to get me in trouble! I find it really sad, and extrememly irritating when people are so closed minded, and naive about life in general. Just because you choose to live in a little bubble does not mean that the rest of of world does or that they should have too.

So, here is the "real" story as to why I am so pissed. 1st of all, I should never have clicked on this thread, "Spin off: The Duggar's, and Plan B". Just the title alone should have been a HUGE red flag for me, NOT to open, read, and post...but feeling optomistic, and confident in my "grown upness" to not get sucked into something that was going to get ugly...I read, and posted. Then someone esle posted, and then another...here is where it gets..."sticky". This person, posted stating their opinion, fine, I felt it was closed minded, and narrow, and well kind of stupid, but I held my tongue. With all my being all I wanted to do was tell them how wrong they were...but I didn't. I came here to my own little sactuary to scream and yell and be as right as I want to be.

So, here is the deal with Plan B...it's a Emergency Contraceptive. Key word here EMERGENCY. It is not supposed to replace or be used in place of traditional birth control. This other poster who we will call..."Bob"...did not seem to grasp this simple concept. I am not saying that birth control is for everyone, or that it should be used by everyone. But to dictate how something should or should not be used is stupid in my opinion. And luckily, my opinon is the only one that matters here! Yeah ME!! Anyhow, reading the posts that Bob was making just kept putting my back up, KWIM? I just do not understand how people can choose to be so naive, and judgemental. I mean not every chick that needs to use a product like Plan B went out and got drunk and had irresponsible and reckless sex the night before. And to assume so, is stupid and worng. And to assume that every Dr. is going to be willing to prescribe such a thing is not only naive, but extremely stupid as well. I love my OB, I think that he is the best ever! Would never change unless he died, and then, I do not know where I would go. That said, I know that there are somethings that he will not prescribe, or do. I know that he will never prescribe an IUD, or preform a abortion, or tie my tubes. He feels that these are for the most part "morally" wrong. The "tie tubes" thing is more of the hospital choice than his I think!! But I know that he would never prescribe something like Plan B. He just doesn't believe that they are "moral", he feels that every pregnancy is a blessing, and so forth. While I am sure that there are some exceptions to this rule of thought, I am only speaking to what I know.

So, to assume that my Dr would give this drug to me is absurd. To make it difficult to get only forces other options to be explored. While I would never have an abortion, that does not say that someone else would choose otherwise, and it's not my place to make a choice or judge them either way. I know that when I "needed" this option, I had to go to Planned Parenthood to get it, and it would have been easier to just have an abortion than to get this "Emergency Contraceptive". Sad, but true. Plus you have to take into account the hospital ER as well. I am not to sure that unless I was raped or some such horrible thing would I have been able to get this Rx at my local hospital being that it is a CATHOLIC hospital, and we all know how they *the Catholic church* feels about Any kind of birth control.

Well, glad that I got that all out of my system, better here than on some stupid message board right? I guess my lesson learned is this, People who choose to remain naive and intollerent are then choosing to be ingnorant. And these are people who you can not reason with nor can you try and change their silly views.

The Countdown

only 1 week and 6 days till my birthday! not that i am counting or anything!

Caleb had a Birthday

Is it just me? Or are all the boys on 1 side with the girls on the other?? It was not planned that way, I think it just "happened"

Caleb LOVES The Huge Dinosaur exhibit that is all outdoors! They even have this little "play area" for little ones!

The Birthday Boy and all his friends...and a little sister as well!

*from left to right* Delilah, Caleb, Nate, Jay, Ethan, and Paige* on the Magic School Bus

Ok, so technically Caleb's birthday was the 8th of Jan, but he had his party today. We braved the Discovery Science Center, on the "opening day" of the new Magic School Bus exhibit. We had a blast! I am so glad that the kids that he wanted to invite are the coolest kids! They are so nice, they always do their best to include Caleb, even when he is having a hard time. It made him feel so good, to have his friends there today. I think that he had a blast. He was so sad when it was time for all of us to leave, he wanted all his friends to come in our truck, and come back to our house to play. I am hoping that he will be up for some playdates soon. He has had a few here and there, but he has a hard time.

So, the new exhibit was so cool! They had this HUGE school bus, that the kids could walk around, and had some cool "science" stuff inside..Now it was not an actual school bus, but the kids had a blast just the same. We played, and played, and then it was time for lunch! And thanks to MOM/Grandma for helping us set up lunch! So we had, PB&J, Cheetos, Capri Suns, and Cupcakes for dessert. Oh, and we can't forget the grapes!! Caleb, opened his presents. He loved everything, he was so excited to see some more "art stuff", as Nate so cutely put it! He could not have had a better party! I am glad that I conceeded and let him have it there..(the science center)...it was much easier than I had thought it would be!

Just a Reminder

A fellow BBC patron posted this on The LDSFamilies board, and it really hit home for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84FHZhB5__Y

Listen to the words, they will soften your heart too. Sometimes we all just need a little reminder, that we are all a little different.

Another Trip to the Big "D"

Well, I think that we * the kids and I * have made a grand total of 3 trips to Disneyland this week alone. We were there on Wed...we went to Calif. Adven with my parents and lil sister Alison..then Caleb, the "little girls" and I were there on Thurs for his B-day. They *D-Land* has this great program this year, you can get a Free 1day/1 park ticket on your birthday..or if you are pass holder like we are, you have some other options. Caleb *chose* to get a Birthday Card with the amount of a 1day/1park ticket price on it. He was thrilled! I was thrilled! He wanted to go shopping right away! Of course, he was a bit overwhelmed with all the possibilities at first, and since we were on a time constraint, we had to make it a quick trip. He ended up getting a Happy Birthday mickey ears hat, with his name on it of course! I love that the HUGE merch. store at DownTown Disney now does the names when you buy the hat! And it's FREE!! Always a perk!!

Okay, so now that accounts for days 1 and 2..so now on to the "infamous" day 3!! Well, Krista and Sam and I took all our kids on Friday afternoon/night. We left right after the kids got out of school. We got down there with no major incidents....then we got into the parking lot. And I swear it seems like as soon as we get any where near that place my kids turn into little monsters! The whining and complaining started, they were hungry, they were tired, they did not want to walk, etc, etc. So we get all loaded up, get to the tram, and wait...luckily we did not have to wait long for a tram. That was the upside! We headed to Calif. Adven first...mainly because it closes earlier than D-land....The 1st ride that Caleb wanted to go on, was Monsters Inc..we waited in line, are almost to the front...and then....the ride breaks! I was like," Are you kidding me?" So, we move on...the kids went on a couple or other rides before we headed over to the "big D".

If we thought that Calif was busy, boy were we wrong! Dland was much busier, and the line to buy tix was insane!! I mean we headed to Dland at like 6pm, and unless Dland does some sort of discount tix price after a certain time, it just seems like a lot of $$ to waste to me! Any who, so we go on a few rides, at this point everyone is getting tired, and hungry. Seeing as the kids have gone through all the snacks that we brought, we talk about heading home to eat and get the kids to bed. Here is where things went really wrong. I say to Sam, "Hey should WE take Caleb to get his present at the Big Store at DTD?", He *Sam* hears," get Caleb a present from the big store at Dland." So he says, lead we will follow. So I lead, But they are unable to follow...Now here is where things get sticky. I have Caleb and Delilah *who I am carrying in a sling* with me, and Sam and Krista have the rest of the kids and 2 giant strollers..OK to be fair, mine is the only "giant" stroller we have with us. They *Sam and Krista* did not know that We *Caleb, Delilah, and I* left the park, We did not know that They had not been able to follow us. And the icing on this sad cake is this...Sam had not only HIS cell, but Mine as well. Great planning on our parts huh??

Well, this sad tale ends with Caleb getting a seriously annoying toy, We getting lost at DTD, me needing my inhaler, bumming $.50 from a total stranger, freaking out the tram employees *having a combo panic/asthma attack*, and FINALLY finding Sam and Krista and assorted children. Needless to say I was not a very happy person. My poor kids, and Krista and hers. They all felt really bad, and I was really mad to boot! Sam and I "talked"...okay we "had it out" in the car, and were fine by the time we got home.

Now for the moral of this story....Never be at Dland without a cell ph. Because odds are that you will get separated from those that you are with, and people suck...oh yes,I failed to mention that I asked 3, yup count em' 3 people to borrow their cell ph's....one guy *the prick* told me so nicely," there's a payphone right there!" I will refrain from what my reply was, as I am not sure who reads this blog. I can assure you is was ummm colorful, shall we say? So, I made my call, found everyone, got to the car, got home. And that is the end of my week at the "Happiest Place on Earth"...yeah right!

Happy New Year!

I am so excited that 2009 is finally here! I have never been so glad to see 2008 out the door! While it's been a year of ups and downs, there were definetly some perks to '08 **ie: Delilah Rose**. But I am looking forward to a new year, with all the possibilites that it holds, the clean slate that it rang in at Midnight..

Thanks Debra, for forcing us off the couch, and making us celebrate the coming of the new year! The party was a blast..even Sam had fun!! What a great way to start off the new year!! With Good Friends, and Great Food.

Happy New Year to all, and to all a great nap!